Long time, no me

OK ... so its been awhile. Let's move past it.

So ... I've been mired in the depths of girl's softball hell since, oddly, February 8 or so. The end of the season is upon us. I have managed to fly under the volunteer radar until I made the mistake of asking if anyone was organizing a collection for a team gift for the coach. I was happily ready to hand over my money to someone willing to do. Fast forward 15 minutes to me with a fistful of 20s from other parents ready to pass along that job to some unsuspecting schmo. Just call me schmo. In addition to a coach's gift, I am expected to think of gifts for the 3 assistant coaches, the team mom, and the dugout mom. Color me clueless. The party is today and I really need some ideas. I finally break down and start looking for the team mom's phone number (the coach's wife) when my cell phone rings. It is her! She has sensed my near nervous breakdown. We brainstorm and she tells me what they've gotten in years past that is always a favorite. Prepare yourself. A six pack of beer and a sleeve of skoal. This is Jeff Foxworthy gold. Who am I to judge? My addition was to make the beers bottles because that seemed a little fancier. Seriously though ... these men are fabulous and have done such a great job. I'm in no means making fun of them. I just think it is hysterically and typically, "You might be a redneck if ..."